_"Surround yourself with and find people who will accept you, love you, and support you"

Growing Up Queer

From as early as six years old, Daniel knew he wasn’t comfortable with who he was. When his family asked what he wanted for his seventh birthday, he replied, “to be a boy.”

This feeling persisted, but without exposure to the LGBTQ+ community or resources, Daniel didn’t fully understand it. Everything changed in high school when he watched a video of someone going through their transition on Facebook. This resonated deeply, bringing back the memory of his seventh birthday. Researching what it meant to be transgender, Daniel realised it aligned with his feelings. He describes this experience like wearing a t-shirt that you are growing out of.

“When you're younger, this is your favourite t-shirt and it's everybody else's favourite t-shirt. Your family loves seeing you in it. Your friends love seeing you in this t-shirt. But then as you get older, the t-shirt starts to get smaller, and you don't fit in it quite as well anymore. But your friends and family still want to see you in that t-shirt. They still ask why aren’t you wearing your t-shirt? And so, you put the t-shirt on, but it's tight. It's constricting.”

Becoming His True Self

In his teenage years, Daniel started to have feelings for people of the same gender but soon realised it was the individual he was attracted to, not their gender. This understanding led him to identify as Pansexual, which is being attracted to someone regardless of their gender identity, often confused with Bisexuality, which is being attracted to more than one gender.

During high school, Daniel was known by his birth name. However, when he entered Sixth Form college, he decided to become Daniel. His friends were immediately supportive, but the transition at home was more complicated. His Mum struggled to grasp what the transition meant and sometimes reverted to his birth name. The support from his Grandad, the male presence in his life, was especially meaningful. Unsure how to come out to him, Daniel wrote a letter.

“I wanted to tell him that I'm transgender…and I find it very difficult to do phone calls, so I just wrote it down and sent it to him… He typed a letter back to me just to say I'm fully accepting of this, and I support you… I called him immediately after I got the letter and he answered saying hi, Dan. He didn't stumble. He didn't question who it was. It was incredibly reassuring.”

How Organisations Can Help

Daniel emphasises the impact a supportive organisation can have on LGBTQ+ employees having experienced the negative end of the spectrum in a previous role.  Daniel was at the receiving end of a slur from a senior executive however, when he reported it, it was Daniel who was reprimanded and fired. Daniel believes organisations can protect LGBTQ+ employees by implementing formal protections, policies and fostering a culture of Allyship, ensuring employees feel secure and heard from the outset.

PRIDE and Support

Reflecting on PRIDE and his journey, Daniel advises those in the organization who are part of the LGBTQ+ community to “Surround yourself with and find people who will accept you, love you, and support you in who you are and who you will become. Not people who are going to try and hold you back and keep you from who you want to be.”